One Red Rose
by TWbasketcase
Summary: One Shot - Santiago agonizes over Cruz's death, and tries to come to peace with himself.


_Title_: One Red Rose

_Author_: TWBasketcase

_Spoilers_: Season 6/Series Finale

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Third Watch, or any of its characters.

One Red Rose

The day was grey and dreary, almost an exact replica of what my life has become. Each day is bittersweet; I love the sun, the city…yet the one thing I love the most is no longer part of my life. Each day I rode in that RMP watching her beautiful face, her eyes as they raged with passion and strength I've seen shine through in no other woman. I guess you could say she was the spice of my life; now that spice is gone.

Each day I walk this same route; over the hills on the gravel walk-way, the only sound around being the sound of my footsteps and the intense beating of my heart. It's almost strange how since that day I can hear and feel every painful beat. I was devoted; desperately in love, and now she's gone.

I shivered as a shrill wind hit my face, blowing through my hair. I pulled my jacket closer to me, and clutched in my hand, one red rose.

To me the red rose represents everything she was: beautiful as the flower, as dangerous as its thorns, and bleeds as red as its pedals when it came to everything she stood for.

We hadn't known each other long; we met on the job just a year or so ago, but as soon as we teamed up, I had never hit it off so fast with someone. I had her back, and she had mine…and most importantly, we got our job done fast and damn good. We had our fun moments, laughing and joking around; we also had our moments where she literally had me scared shitless. She had more guts than any man I knew, and there were times when I thought at any moment someone would pull a gun and it would all be over.

It slowly began to rain as I continued on my journey, but today I didn't mind the rain. The rain matched my mood exactly, and the tears I cried every night. Every night I went to bed hoping that I would wake up and it would all be a bad dream, so far I wasn't so lucky.

The day I was shot I was so scared that it would be my last day on this Earth, the last day I would ever look into her deep brown eyes; I_ was _right, and for some reason I feel almost selfish for being scared. I had told her I would help her with her chemo, I would be by her side whenever she needed a friend; she tried to act as if she didn't care, but I could see the grateful look in her eyes, and the way she tried to hide her smiles. That same day I had told her to talk to Marcel, get his help. It was because of me she had tried to bargain with him, it was because of me the precinct was attacked, and worst of all it was because of me that she went after him, killing herself in the process.

I approached the grey tombstone and stared at the name on it, each letter perfectly carved out…it almost reminded me of her perfectly sculpted face. That face haunts me each and everyday; I see it before I go to sleep, while I work; _every time I blink it seems_. A lone tear rolled down my cheek and dropped right on the top of the rose. I stared at the flower and looked back at the tombstone; I kissed it softly and gently placed it down, leaning it ever so slightly on the cold piece of concrete.

Once again I felt as if I was going to crumble; she may have been my boss, my colleague, but besides my son, she was the only person in this world who could possibly bring a smile to my face with one look. I got down to my knees and placed a hand on her tombstone,

"My Maritza,

I'm so proud of your bravery, your soul, and desire,

I hope you are happy for eternity and feel hurt no longer,

You were beautiful and strong, you lit my heart on fire,

I know only now you are even more beautiful and only stronger.

I will never forget you, and never stop loving you."

Once again I felt that awful beat of my heart and looked to the sky. Every time I speak these words here I feel that way.

As I stood to my feet, the rain slowed and the clouds broke apart. For the first time that week the sun came out and for the first time in months I began to feel at peace. All it took was one peak of the rays of light, and I knew she was at peace as well. I looked down to the tombstone and smiled for the first time since I got shot and was told the dreadful news. I laughed in spite of myself and looked down at the red rose once more. She stole a piece of my heart that day, and she will have it forever more. Until the day I die I will come here to keep my promise and show her she is not alone. Each day I will bring another rose because to me the red rose represents everything she was: beautiful as the flower, as dangerous as its thorns, and bleeds as red as its pedals when it came to everything she stood for. I love you Maritza Cruz; forever and always.

The End


End file.
